Pushing Preschoolers with Pandering Pumps

My 5 year old needed a new pair of sneakers, We searched high & low for the ultimate, after about 10 shops we found them. Oh man, were they something. That were bejeweled in sequins, bling and flashing lights, really, I am not exaggerating, they were every little girls fantasy. As we walked into the store the salesperson greeted my child & not me. She proceeded to verbally stroke my child and ask what she wanted. She went back to the stock room and brought out 5 pairs of shoes. Only one of which we had asked for. The rest, now hold on, had heels. They were heeled flip flops for a 5 year old?! It was true, I thought I was dreaming but alas they were real. As the sales person continued to “sell” the idea to my daughter I watched it all unfold before my eyes. First it was the compliments, then the suggestions of when one would wear them, then how great she looked in them, to: “let’s just try them on and see how cool you look!”

At this point I was perversely curious enough to stay in the background and watch it unravel. My daughter said to me at one point while the sales girl was getting more stock that: “she was nice”. I asked my daughter why she thought so, she couldn’t come up with a reason, fascinating. So I reminded her that she was in charge of the decision & that she should choose the shoes that were most comfortable, easiest to wear & that she would use the most. When the sales person came back with 3 more pairs to confuse matters, my daughter had already picked her sneakers. Mind you, I would not normally patronize such a large store, but she was very convicted about these particular shoes and I do believe in freedom of guided choice for little people. Especially as a small business owner & maker of clothing, I figure she should have some freedom to be “like” the others…

After selecting the favorite pair, much to the disappointment of the sales girl as we were leaving with only the one pair. My daughter proudly wore them out of the shop & was delighted with herself. We had a chat about what happened in there & why heeled sandals were silly & not for children with developing feet & why etc. But the real test came after she had worn them for about a month and thought she was the coolest. She started Kindergarten and after a few days she asked upon returning home: “why do so many of the kids have my shoes?” Lesson learned? Something is as special as it’s uniqueness. Perhaps wearing handmade clothes rather than store bought big box isn’t so bad after all! She still wears them, to go to the park and run around, but they don’t get worn to school & they spend most of the time at the back of the closet, mainly due to the fact that “every girl has them.”

McDonalds, Kids & No Free Water

For most conscientious parents in the Western world it is an accomplishment if you successfully shelter your kids from the commercial world.  I mean, realistically if they don’t know what  McDonalds is by the time they are say 2, you have really gotten away with something! My daughter  (4 ) recognizes logos, stores etc. She watches PBS television, we don’t  support chain stores or fast food until a recent trip where we truly had no other choice but to get her a Filet of fish and french fries. She still refers to this as the ‘French Fry Store” and we perpetuate the myth by agreeing. I live with guilt and terror at my moment of weakness & my lack of creativity…

My horror and  confirmation of the institution that is McDonalds was renewed for life with this one experience. Upon asking for a cup for water I was told McDonalds no longer offers water to it’s customers. To my disbelief I went to the soda machine to check, and it was sadly true. The water tap was gone, no longer could one of the richest & most vulgar fast food institutions offer their “customers” water. Instead, I was told that I could purchase a bottle of water. This magnificent plastic landfill bottle was a pint of Dasani, which is of course a Coca Cola product. So now do they not only charge you for water, it is not in a biodegradable wax cup and I was then told I could order a happy meal & get milk instead. Had I done so, I would have also gotten another plastic landfill toy.

I am by no means a trendy Politically Correct type. I do reason with my child with regards to requests for plastic toys,. When she asks she has been given the explaination and now, when she asks for one I prompt her with “where do the toys go when you are done with them?” she says,  “the landfilll” that without failure concludes our conversation and any further requests. The same has now to be applied to requests for the French Fry store. That one experience at the age of 3 was so powerful that she still asks when we are near a McDonalds. The power and draw so great that a year later she remembers. Not only because her mother went on a rant over the lack of water, but what she ate, how it tasted, the whole experience forever etched in her impressionable little brain.

Some of you reading this may think, what’s the big deal? If I create a denial of something, naturally the child will want it more? Every time my child requests I give her a better, more enticing alternative. For example, how about instead we go to the market and you get to choose whatever  you like for lunch & we have a car picnic? My point is, there are many alternatives to provide to challenge the “norm”.  As I write this rant, I regret we had little choice on our travels that day, thanks to complacency, accepting the norm and not challenging changes we don’t agree with,  McDonalds may soon be your only option. I know that my experience was magnified by the whole paying for water thing. I expect to do so in other countries but not in the U.S.A. the land of milk & honey, plenty and GROSS consumerism. I’ll be damned if I have to pay for water!  I publicly vow from here on out, I WILL NEVER cross the threshold of a McDonalds again.

I urge you  to ponder all of the choices you make.  From the food choices, to where and how you buy your children’s clothing, toys etc.  and where it goes when you are finished with it? Because despite myself, your children will influence mine and that horrifies me if you are not thinking!!!